| Answer:
In Islam, for the welfare and harmony of the family set up, Islam
requires that the wife adopt an attitude of adjustment and harmony with the
husband and the husband is required to be affectionate and accommodating as
far as possible to the needs of his wife. He must not impose any undue
restrictions on her for this will ignite the wrath of God upon him.
With regard to a wife seeking her husband’s permission before leaving the
house, the proper perspective must be understood. In general circumstances
of mutual trust, there is no need for a wife to ask permission from her
husband to go out. However, in certain circumstances in which the husband
genuinely considers that going out might disrupt the family in any way, he
has the authority to exercise his right of stopping her and in these
circumstances, she should always ask permission to leave the house. In this
regard, the husband must remember that if he imposes himself without any
sound and justifiable reason, he would be crossing the bounds and invoking
the displeasure of the Almighty. His wrong behavior may even lead the wife
to abandon him for which he would be solely responsible if he adopts an
unreasonable attitude.
As far as the second part of your question is concerned, the concept of a
wife being obedient to her husband and showing submission to him must be
understood in the proper perspective. A family by analogy is similar to a
state. All citizens of a state are expected to abide by the rules and
regulations of the country they live in. They are expected to adopt an
attitude of adjustment and harmony with the country. This, of course, does
not mean that they cannot differ with its policies. They have the
inalienable democratic right to differ and present their differences in a
befitting manner. This submission is actually an essential requirement for
discipline and order without which anarchy may result. Similarly, in the
case of a family set up, it is essential that the person who is its head be
shown obedience. In other words, submission to authority is not specific to
the gender of the authority. Whoever is the authority, must be submitted to.
Gender does not dictate submissiveness -- it is authority which does. It is
common knowledge that in different sphere of activities people have
different abilities and justice entails that a person be made responsible
according to his or her abilities and given authority on that basis. We have
been informed by divine revelation that it is the husband who is more
suitable to be the head of the family. Owing to this relative superiority,
women are directed to submit to men not because men are superior human
beings, but because in this particular case it is the men who have been
vested with authority in accordance with the following verse:
Men are the guardians of women because Allah has given one superiority over
the other and because they [-- men --] support them from their means. (4:34)
If women had been more suitable for the task of heading a family, men would
have been similarly directed to adopt this attitude of adjustment. |