First and foremost, it must be realized that the
appearance of sexual urge at puberty or adolescence is a natural phenomena. Thus
boys or girls who find this urge in themselves at this stage should neither feel
guilty nor afraid. It is the way God has made us that at a certain period of our
life cycle we begin to have sexual feelings for the opposite gender. Nocturnal
emission is the natural way in which the body responds to release the sexual
urge that arises in it.
This urge can perhaps be classified as internally produced
and as externally stimulated. In the society we live in, external sexual stimuli
are so potent and so rampant that they greatly augment the internally produced
urge. The result is that boys and girls at this age generally experience an
intense and frequent sexual urge.
Now, in order to address this issue in the Islamic
perspective, we need to first go into some background.
It is surely the desire of every Muslim to succeed in the
Hereafter. To him or her, entering Paradise is the supreme goal of all
endeavours. Thus the very objective of the religion we follow is to attain
tazkiyah (purification) because we know from the Qur’ān (87:14-15) that only
people who have purified their souls will enter Paradise. Thus a Muslim should
cherish living in an atmosphere which is morally pure and healthy and indulge in
activities which do not contaminate his soul. Trying to remain in such an
atmosphere generally helps adolescent boys and girls to shield themselves from
external stimuli that augment this urge.
Now, according to Islam and most
divine religions, the proper way to satisfy one’s sexual urge is through
marriage. However, in most social set-ups it is almost impossible to marry as
soon as one reaches puberty. Therefore, the question arises that what should
un-married boys and girls do to satisfy this urge. Following are some guidelines
which might be useful in this regard.
1. A person should try to remain
in as morally pure an atmosphere as possible. The starting point for this is
that he or she should guard the eyes from taking undue liberty. Besides other
measures, it is recommended that TV programs, movies, novels and magazines which
are sexually provocative in any way should be avoided as much as possible. Any
blemish in this regard should be followed by repentance and seeking refuge with
the Almighty. It is only with His blessings that one can counter such difficult
2. Care should be exercised in
meeting or talking to the opposite gender in seclusion. One should also be
careful in indulging in lose talk with them. Such gossip and lose talk often
pave the way to stimulating the sexual urge.
3. One should try to regularly
keep fasts each month for this is helpful in controlling the sexual urge. The
Prophet (sws) has recommended this measure.
4. One should foster a deep
relationship with God by being very diligent in the prayer. According to the
Qur’ān (29:45), the bond with God through the prayer helps a person in combating
lust and indecency.
5. One way to keep one’s sexual
desires in check is to engage in healthy mental, physical and social activities
which help a person channelizing his or her energy on constructive lines. The
more idle a person is the more prone he may become to giving in to sexual
Now, the more a person protects
himself from provocative situations and stimuli, the more are his chances of
over-coming his sexual urge through will-power whenever it may grip him.
We know that the Prophet Joseph (sws) was confronted with a
very alluring situation before he was called to prophethood. The first lady of
his times offered herself to him. The Qur’ān (12:24) says that in this delicate
situation the Almighty helped him with His special burhān which is the divine
spark found in every human being. According to a divine law, in people who duly
honour it and protect it, it grows stronger and brighter and in often in
delicate circumstances protects a person from succumbing to evil.
In short, the most effective way for un-married people to
cope with their sexual desires is to make an effort to remain in a morally clean
and healthy environment.