Answer: I am afraid I do
not think that this type of reaction is solely specific to you. It is an
ailment from which the majority of us suffers. Nevertheless, we must strive
our utmost to overcome this ailment. As your very words ‘he realizes he has
teased the wrong person’ suggest, it is actually our wounded ego that causes
us to react: we do not want to look small; hate to be defeated virtually in
any arena; wish to always stand one step up over the rest and despise to see
anything happen against our taste or liking. In a nutshell, we yearn that
nothing should ever go beyond the well-demarcated circle of our wishes and
preferences.
However, a close perusal of
interpersonal relations and behavioral studies shows that humans,
collectively as well as individually, are bound to unexpectedly face
unbecoming attitudes from their relations, friends and other fellows. The
reason being every person has a different temperament and it is a fact that
the habit of losing temper can never be obliterated no matter how hard we
try though the extent and intensity of losing temper can be kept to the
minimal. Thus, it is useless to think that we will ever be able to obviate
completely the possibility of losing temper. However, it is very desirable
that we learn how to hold back when we happen to be fuming with rage. The
soothing reality that should help us hold our temper and forgive the
offender is that whatever agony that we have to suffer is sure to bring us
reward in the Hereafter. The Holy Prophet (sws) is reported to have said:
No fatigue, nor disease,
nor sorrow, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the
prick he receives from a thorn but Allah expiates some of his sins for that.
(Bukhāri: No, 5210)
In another Hadīth, the
Prophet (sws) is reported to have said that brave is indeed the person who
holds back when offended. The Prophet Jesus (sws) has explicated the same
trait in the sublime words that follow:
But whosoever shall slap
you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue
you at the law, and take away your coat, let him have your cloak also. And
whosoever shall compel you to go a mile, go with him twain. (Mathew,
5:39-41)
He (sws) then explained
that it is only befitting for a believer to forgive his offenders than to
avenge his sufferings:
But I say unto you, love
your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and
pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. (Mathew, 5:44)
The reason he (sws) offers
for treating the enemies well is very thought provoking: if you love those
who love you back, then there is nothing outstanding within your persona. It
is only when they hate you that you pray for them and always wish good for
them.
For if you love them
which love you, what reward have you? Do not even the publicans the same?
And if you salute your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do
not even the publicans so? Be you therefore perfect, even as your Father
which is in heaven is perfect. (Mathew, 5:46-8)
So when you feel depressed
that you have not responded to the ill treatment of some other person, you
should convince yourself that holding back and forgiving others are indeed
the virtues that great Prophets of Allah have exhorted us to imbibe and
practice. In addition, always keep in mind that these virtues will bring you
everlasting reward in the Hereafter. I know this is a hard task. One is
bound to err many times before one learns how to behave properly. But I
assure you that every step, that you take to get over with this ailment,
will bring you closer to Allah; and He will definitely help you stand
upright. It only demands determination and commitment from your side to
adhere to the virtues of forgiveness and excuse.
As far as your second
question is concerned, I see nothing wrong with your aspirations to get
famous in this world. However, the way you are taking it on your soul does
sound a warning to me as your well-wisher. This will surely get you down and
may well turn you into a worthless broken species if, God forbid, you fail
drastically to achieve what you have undertaken to. Did it ever occur to you
that you perhaps have not specified a good goal for your efforts to be
targeted at? I mean there is some better goal I can assure you that you will
definitely hit even when your efforts are proved fruitless in this world. We
have no control or authority to alter the game of life in the present world:
we are bound with many different restrictions that we sometimes cannot go
forward one step when we exhaust all our energy. I fully concede that
everyone who invests his best efforts eventually comes to reap the benefits
as well in this very world. But then odds are enough that this may not be
the case with every single human being. This is how the world has been
designed. Only one person can be the president of Pakistan though there may
be more than one who is eligible enough to assume the seat. I do not deny
that a person can be famous through one hundred thousands means nor do I
wish to demoralize you. However, the stark reality to which I wish to allude
is that ‘what if you fail?’ This uncertainty exhibits that this field is not
worth spending energies and time. The Holy Qur’ān has provided us with an
alternative arena. And I tell you that you will never fail once you
sincerely set out in this arena to lead a life portrayed by the Book of
Allah. |