| Answer:
The issue of ‘beating one’s wife’ is an important one. However, it
should be understood not because of ‘today’s world’, but because the verse used
to justify this action has been sorely abused and misunderstood. The actual
spirit and context of the verse has been completely ignored. The verse in
question sought to address a widespread practice that has remained, and
continues to remain, common in all societies, including the West. Cases of
domestic abuse are rampant in places like the United States and Europe. Hence,
the Qur’ānic language sought to discourage men from partaking in this type of
behavior, premised on anger, by requiring them to take certain steps before
resorting to physical contact. The central idea being that in a moment of anger
a man may suddenly strike his wife, but if he is instructed to pursue other
measures first he attains sufficient time to cool his temper and come to his
senses. The husband is instructed to reason with his wife, speak to her gently,
then if this does not work to leave her bed or separate from her for a time and,
finally, if all else fails, to resort to some physical contact to signify his
displeasure. With each step, the husband is required to exhaust all possible
avenues before moving to the next step. If the husband has to resort to physical
contact, this is more of a symbolic gesture, as even the hadīth of the Prophet (sws)
states that if a husband were to resort to this, the contact should be one that
does leave even the slightest mark. Furthermore, it should be understood that
resorting to these steps is not for trivial matters such as a wife not carrying
out the husband’s every last whim. The husband should resort to these actions
only when the wife’s actions openly challenge the authority of the husband and
create a destructive atmosphere that threatens the system of the family.
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