Some things, it seems, are best left in the past. The fact that your
mother mistreated you and did not raise you in the ideal manner, may be a
product of her own circumstances and difficulties. Many a time, we end up
venting our frustrations on people who never made us miserable in the first
place. In this case, you were the victim. Although, the weakness displayed
by your mother is something that she and every one of us must learn to fight
and rectify, if you do not see her apologizing or feeling sorry for all that
cannot now be undone, it would not help matters if you were to tell her that
you still hold a grudge against her.
In my opinion, the sensible way to go about it would be for you to keep
reminding yourself how your Allah requires of you to remain kind and
considerate to your parents under all circumstances. Returning evil with
good and harshness with mildness, can win over the worst of one’s enemies.
And she, after all, is your mother. Also, since she must already be in her
old age or approaching it, you should make the best effort not to let her be
alone. The best way to win her over is to let her realize on her own that
her misgivings are not being returned an eye for an eye. The process can be
painful and slow, but worth the effort. Secondly, if she feels antagonistic
towards Islam for peculiar reasons, her reservations must be addressed
carefully and in a subtle manner. You must look for the right moments to
convey to her how your religion makes you a more secure, happy and confident
lady. For example, taking over your husband to meet with her, would be a
good idea. In the course of these meetings, who better than the ‘husband’ to
stress how Islam has made him respect his ‘wife’, and so on. This is just
one recommendation. Carefully looking into other possible scenarios that can
win over your mother’s trust and change her false impressions about Islam
can help ‘de-mystify’ the subject of Islam with your mother.
In the end, just keep reminding yourself of Allah’s words from the Qur’ān,
enjoining good treatment of parents (see 2:83, 6:151, 31:14-15). Reciting
them over and over again, and reflecting upon the divine directives will
help heal your heart. Pray to Allah and put your trust in Him. God willing,
your own children will discover what a wonderful mother God chose for them.