Mature children should be treated as young adults and their
privacy should be fully respected. Maturity here refers to
mental maturity in which a grown-up child is able to discern
between right and wrong. Most parents make a complete mess of
the privacy of such children. They should not pry or spy on
them and should even let them make mistakes. All that parents
should do is to try to develop a strong friendly bond with
them. This needs time, effort and dedication. By conversing
with them about their fields of interest and indulging in
small talk will greatly help. If such children are enamored by
some teenage heroes, a particular sport, a television program
or a movie, parents should try to become well-informed in
these areas. This will provide them with a good topic for
informal discussion with their grown-up children.
The purpose should be to develop such good friendship with
these children that they start confiding in one of the
parents. In fact, such should be the extent of this friendship
that as soon as the child does something wrong, he or she
comes to the parent(s) and tells them what happened. This is
the target which parents should try to achieve instead of
imposing restrictions on them. Parents should also remember
that at best restrictions will only work at home. A child has
to spend time in school and with friends. The moment he is
free, he will break the shackles of these restrictions and
perhaps react by going too far and cross limits.
Parents should also not be so ambitious
as expect them to never or seldom commit mistakes. This is
humanly impossible. They should remember that they themselves
in their childhood made their share of mistakes. So why ask
something of their children which they never complied with in
their own childhood and which perhaps God too never has
demanded?
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