Mothers of the Faithful
The Prophet (sws)
was married 15 years before the advent of prophethood. This
marriage continued for 25 years. He did not enter into a
second marriage during these 25 years. After this, during
eight or nine years, he married 10 ladies. When he departed
from the world, nine of his wives were still living. Details
about his wives are as follows:
1. Khadijah bint Khuwaylid ibn Asad
She belonged to
the branch of the Banu Asad of the Quraysh and her family tree
is connected to the Prophet in the fifth generation. She was
initially married to Ati’id ibn ‘Abdullah Makhzumi and Abu
Hala ibn Niyas Tamimi. Both had passed away. Abu Halah’s
children were still infants when she married the Prophet (sws).
Khadijah (rta)’s companionship with the Prophet (sw) remained
for 25 years. During this time he did not even think of
marrying again. He was extremely saddened by her death. Later,
praising her, he would say that she had accepted faith when
all others were deniers; she sacrificed her wealth for him
when he was deprived by others and God blessed him with
children through her. Truly, she was the wife who shared his
grief and helped him in every way when he was being oppressed
from all sides in the difficult environment of Makkah. She
gave birth to two sons and four daughters. Her sons died
during infancy but the daughters grew up and were married.
When the Prophet (sws) passed away, three of his daughters:
Zaynab (rta), Ruqayyah (rta) and Umm Kulthum (rta) had died.
The fourth daughter, Fatimah (rta) lived only for six months
after his death.
2. Sawdah bint Zam‘ah ibn Qays
The Prophet (sws)
was 50 years old when he married Sawdah (rta) This was his
second marriage. She was almost his age. She belonged to the
older group of Muslims and belonged to the branch ‘Amir ibn
Luyyi of Quraysh. Her first husband Sakran ibn ‘Amr (rta) had
migrated with her to Abyssinia. On their return, Sakran (rta)
passed away. With Khadijah (rta) having passed away, and given
the conditions in his house, the Prophet (sws) chose Sawdah (rta)
for marriage. After migration to Madinah, when the Prophet (sws)
married again, in order to maintain justice amongst his wives,
the Prophet (sws) stayed with theSm one by one. Sawdah (rta)
gave her assigned turn to ‘A’ishah Siddiqah (rta).
3. ‘A’ishah bint Abi Bakr ibn Abi Quhafah (rta)
She belonged to
the branch of the Banu Tamim of the Quraysh. He was the
daughter of a man who was very reputed for his morals and
character among the Quraysh even before the advent of Islam.
Not only was he among the first to have accepted Islam, his
services to the cause of Islam are second to none. This
personality, for whom even the Prophet (sws) had expressed
gratitude, was Abu Bakr, who was the Prophet’s companion
during migration and his trusted advisor for all religious and
national work.
After Khadijah (rta)’s
demise, when the Prophet (sws) felt the need for someone to
look after domestic responsibilities, two names were suggested
to him. One was that of Sawdah (rta) and the other of ‘A’ishah
(rta). At that time ‘A’ishah (rta) was engaged to Mut‘am ibn
‘Adi’s son, Jabir. Hence, the Prophet (sws) married Sawdah (rta).
Abu Bakr (rta) decided to ask Mut‘am ibn ‘Adi his opinion
about the engagement and the latter expressed some hesitation
in going through with the marriage. At this, Abu Bakr broke
off the engagement and informed the Prophet (sws). To fulfill
the wishes of his loyal friend, the Prophet (sws) married
‘A’ishah (rta) but delayed her departure to his house
according to the custom in Arabia. This event took place after
migration, in Madinah. Amongst all his wives, she was the only
virgin wife and most beloved because of her traits and
capabilities.
It is commonly
believed, and this belief is based on a narrative found in
books of Hadith, that ‘A’ishah (rta) was six years old when
she was married to the Prophet (sws) and when she went to her
husband’s house, she was nine years old. In his house, her
interests were playing with toys, calling girls over and
listening to their songs. When she was 18 years old, which is
the age considered to be adulthood, the Prophet (sws) passed
away. On the other hand, many biographers such as Muhammad ibn
Ishaq, ‘Asqalani and Zarqani describe her as being one of
those who accepted Islam after its advent. This means that at
the time of prophet hood, she must have been of an age when
she understood the difference between truth and falsehood and
chose Islam for herself. Narratives related to the migration
to Abyssinia and Madinah can be traced back to her and their
style of narration is not that of small children. Instead, it
shows depth of understanding and thought. She herself said
that she remembered the revelation of Surah Qamar, which was
revealed in 4th Nabavi. Thus, she was of an age when she could
understand something requiring scholarship. Children may
remember a few isolated events, but to remember the time of
revelation of a specific surah at a young age is not possible.
Her companionship with the Prophet (sws) lasted eight years.
In those eight years, she gained such a status in her
understanding of religious matters that many earlier
companions had not attained. She had differed on many issues
with famous companions and provided rational arguments for the
same. No one was more knowledgeable than her on matters
related to the reasons, wisdom and evolution of religious
instructions. It is beyond comprehension to find such depth
and analytic thought in a playful girl of tender years.
If her age is
accepted as being so young, it will be necessary also to
accept many things that go against known facts. Firstly, she
was engaged to Jabir ibn Mut‘am. It is also known that this
engagement had lasted for quite some time and her departure to
his house was being delayed. This is why it is considered
acceptable for Abu Bakr (rta) to speak with Jabir’s father.
Otherwise he could have said that only a little time had
passed and he should not worry about the wedding. Jabir was
his parent’s young son. There must not have been any lack of
suitable matches for him. What problem did his parents face
that they had arranged a match for him with a 4-5 year old
child, who needed another 7-8 years to grow up? This is
against all norms and customs of the time.
Secondly, this
match was suggested to the Prophet at a time when he wanted a
well mannered, adult woman to take care of his household, not
a child. Had ‘A’ishah (rta) been really very young, the
Prophet (sws) would have stopped the lady who had suggested
this match to him and would have told her that the child who
played with dolls would not be able to take care of his house.
Thirdly,
narratives indicate that the Prophet (sws) did not bring
‘A’ishah (rta) to his house for one year after migration.
When he was asked about the reason, he did not say that he was
waiting for her to gain puberty, but instead, he said that he
did not have anything to give her as dower. Then a loan was
arranged for him and so ‘A’ishah (rta) came to his house.
The idea of
‘A’ishah (rta)’s young age has come from a narrative by Hisham
bin Urwa. He said that she was six years old when her nikah
took place, nine when she went to her husband’s house and 18
when she became a widow. In the view of researchers, there is
no narrator from Madinah who supports this narrative, although
Hisham was from Madinah and lived there until 145 AH. During
that year, he traveled to Iraq when he was 84 years old. In
Iraq, not one or two, but 11 narrators of this narrative are
found to have come up. Then, unreliable narrators produced
proofs to support this narrative.
Consider this to be Hisham’s forgetfulness or the use by
Iraqis of Hisham’s name for an unrealistic narrative, this
strange narrative gained fame and spread in the entire ummah.
In our view, facts indicate that at the time of the Prophet (sws)’s
demise, ‘A’ishah (rta)’s age was probably 28 years. At this
age, her grasp of religious matters, the wisdom behind God’s
instructions and her debates with other companions are better
understood and nothing remains incomprehensible.
4. Hafsah bint ‘Umar bin al-Khattab
Her connection
is with the Banu ‘Adi, a branch of the Quraysh. Her husband
Khanis ibn Hudhayfah ibn Qays Sahmi (rta) was from the first
people who had accepted Islam. He had migrated to Abyssinia
first with his wife. He was wounded in the battle of Uhud and
did not recover. In consideration of Hafsah (rta)’s religious
services and the status and position of her father, the
Prophet (sws) married her. The honour bestowed on her was that
the book in which the Prophet (sws) used to have the Qur’anic
verses documented was entrusted to her safe keeping. Even
after the demise of the Prophet (sws), it remained with her.
There are 160 Ahadith that have been narrated from her in the
books of hadith.
5. Zaynab bint Khuzaymah ibn al-Harith
She did not
belong to the tribe of Quraysh. She was initially married to
two cousins of the Prophet (sws): Tufayl and ‘Ubaydah, who
were sons of Harith ibn ‘Abd al-Muttalib. After their deaths,
she married ‘Abdullah ibn Jahash (rta), who was martyred in
the Battle of Uhud. ‘Abdullah was also the Prophet (sws)’s
cousin. Taking her difficult life and long association with
Islam into account, the Prophet married her. She died two or
three months later.
6. Umm Salamah bint Abi Umayyah ibn Mughirah
She belonged to
the influential and wealthy clan of the Banu Makhzum of the
Quraysh. She was among the first who had accepted Islam and
had married the Prophet (sws)’s cousin who was also his foster
brother, Abu Salamah ibn ‘Abd al-Asad (rta). They had migrated
to Abyssinia after being tormented by their families. Upon
their return, they spent some time with Abu Talib. When the
environment in Yathrab was noted to be congenial for Islam,
they decided to migrate there. They had just left Makkah when
the Banu Makhzum stopped Umm Salamah (rta). Abu Salamah (rta)
went to Yathrab alone. Their family deprived the mother of her
child also. Thus Umm Salamah (rta) spent a very painful life.
One year passed before she was allowed to go to Yathrab.
Abu Salamah (rta)
was wounded during the Battle of Uhud. These wounds resulted
in his death. In Shawwal of 4th AH, the Prophet (sws) sent Umm
Salamah a proposal of marriage. She had two sons and two
daughters by Abu Salamah and hesitated because of her
children, but the Prophet (sws) was desirous of supporting
these children himself. Hence they were married.
In terms of
intelligence and capabilities, Umm Salamah (rta) is considered
only second to ‘A’ishah (rta). She has narrated 1378 Ahadith
as found in the books. During the journey of ‘umrah, at the
time of the Treaty of Hudaybiyah, she was accompanying the
Prophet (sws). The Muslims were not satisfied with the terms
of the treaty and the Prophet (sws) was very worried about the
situation. Umm Salamah (rta) advised him to open his ihram and
sacrifice the camels. When the Prophet (sws) carried this out,
the Muslims followed suit.
7. Zaynab bint Jahash ibn Ri’ab
She belonged to
the tribe of the Banu Asad ibn Khuzaymah. She was the Prophet
(sws)’s cousin and among the first ones to accept Islam. The
Prophet (sws) married her to Zayd ibn Harithah (rta), against
the wishes of her tribe. Zayd was the Prophet (sws)’s adopted
son. The couple could not get along well and Zayd divorced his
wife. The Prophet (sws) was very saddened by the whole affair.
Because the marriage had taken place upon his insistence, he
felt that he was also responsible for the breakup. God made
this incident the source of a significant societal reform and
instructed the Prophet (sws) to marry Zaynab (rta). In Arab
society, the widow or divorcee of an adopted son was
considered to be a real daughter in law, so the hypocrites
found an opportunity to criticize the Prophet (sws) and spread
malicious rumours about him. The same rumours have been used
by the Orientalists of this period to cast aspersions upon the
character of the Prophet (sws). The Prophet (sws) obeyed God
and Zaynab (rta) was proud of being thus blessed throughout
her life.
8. Umm Habibah Ramlah bint Abi Sufyan bin Harb
Umm
Habibah (rta) was closest to the Prophet (sws) after Khadijah
(rta) in terms of her status. She was initially married to
‘Ubaydullah ibn Jahash and both migrated to Abyssinia. In that
environment, ‘Ubaydullah converted to Christianity and died
later. Umm Habibah (rta) was left alone in an unknown land
without resources. When the Prophet (sws) found out, he
decided to marry her, considering her familial position and
religious services. He sent ‘Amr ibn Umayyah al-Damari (rta)
to the King of Abyssinia who had converted to Islam. He
communicated the Prophet (sws)’s proposal of marriage to Umm
Habibah who accepted the proposal. The king himself read out
the sermon of the nikah and paid her a large amount of mahr
from his own pocket. After the Battle of Khaybar, she reached
Madinah with a caravan of Muslims. Her daughter Habibah grew
up under the patronage of the Prophet (sws). Books of hadith
include 65 narratives traced to her.
9. Juwayriyah bint al-Harith ibn Abi Darar (rta)
She was the
daughter of the leader of the tribe of the Banu Mustaliq. Due
to the conspiracies and constant problems created by this
tribe, the Prophet (sws) attacked it and it was defeated.
Juwayriyah was made captive and was handed to Thabit ibn Qays
(rta) as his slave. She asked him to release her on payment of
ransom and came to the Prophet (sws) to ask for assistance.
When he found that she was the daughter of the leader, he
suggested that he would pay Thabit and free her and then marry
her. When Juwayriyah accepted this, her father married her to
the Prophet (sws). The Banu Mustaliq was very impressed with
this treatment and became Muslims. The Muslims also returned
to them the war booty they had collected. In this way, the
enmity between two tribes was transformed into love on the
basis of a single marriage. Juwayriyah had been initially
married to Musafih ibn Safwan.
10. Safiyyah bint Huyi ibn Akhtab (rta)
She was the
daughter of the leader of the Banu Nadir and was captured
during the Battle of Khaybar. Her family was traceable to
Harun (sws). When the Prophet (sws) found out about her
lineage, he chose her for himself and then married her. She
had been initially married to Salam ibn Mushkam and then
Kananah ibn Abi al-Huqayq. Kananah was killed in the Battle of
Khaybar.
11. Maymunah bint al-Harith (rta)
It is said about
her that she was the only woman to have gifted herself to the
Prophet (sws) and he too wished to marry her. He had been
given permission by God to enter into such relationships. She
had been initially married to Abu Rahm ibn ‘Abd al-‘Uzza who
had died. There are 76 narratives that are attributed to her
as the source.
12. Mariyah Qibtiyah (rta)
The king of
Egypt, Maqawqas sent two maids for the Prophet (sws) on
receipt of a letter from him. They were sisters. The Prophet (sws)
gave one to Hassan ibn Thabit (rta) and kept Mariyah (rta) for
himself. She gave him a son who was named Ibrahim. At the age
of 18 months, he passed away.
A
Look at the Married Life of the Prophet (sws)
Enemies of Islam
have attempted to despoil the pure and pious life of the
Prophet (sws). The detractors of today have used the false
propaganda which was deployed by both Jews and hypocrites and
the baseless stories they created in new ways to attack his
personal life. The facts of the Prophet (sws)’s life are
themselves proof of the falsehood of these stories. The
following facts must always be kept in mind:
1. The Prophet
(sws)’s early life was full of extremely pious and
constructive work. This is why the Makkan society accorded him
all the dignity and respect owed to a young man who was of a
sound and highly moral character and who was trustworthy and
reliable. During his 25 years, not a single stain can be found
on his character. When he married at the age of 25, his wife
had children and had been married twice before, but was known
to be a woman of great piety and virtue. The Prophet (sws)
spent his entire youth in her companionship and did not even
think of a second marriage, although had he done so, it would
have been a normal act according to Arab society. The memory
of this serene married life was dear to the Prophet (sws) even
after his wife had passed away. This is not the attitude of
anyone who is given to frequent affairs or is overly sexed.
2. At the age
of 50, when he realized the need for a second wife to take
care of his household, he married someone of his own age,
whose main attribute was her steadfastness of faith and desire
to sacrifice everything for it. Her previous husband had
passed away.
3. At the age
of 54, he married a virgin. Her key qualities were that she
was the daughter of his most trustworthy companion who had
been with him in the most trying of circumstances, his
childhood friend and an active personality in the society, who
himself had desired to establish such a relationship with the
Prophet (sws). The Prophet (sws) honoured this request of a
companion to whom he was also grateful, at the same time
acknowledging his services to their religion. Experience has
shown that the efforts and services this esteemed wife carried
out to further the Prophet (sws)’s cause and to make it
popular among women cannot be compared with any other woman.
4. Muslims had
suffered considerable loss of life during the Battle of Uhud.
Taking care of widows and the orphaned children of martyrs
emerged as a major problem in society. The Qur’an brought it
to the attention of Muslims that men could marry two, three or
four women to address this issue. The Prophet (sws) married
three women one after the other, in accordance with this
instruction. These women had been married to his close
relatives and their husbands had been martyred in the Battle
of Uhud. A major factor behind these marriages was to support
them and their orphaned children and to set an example for
other Muslims.
5. When the
Prophet (sws) had completed the stipulation of a maximum of
four wives after marrying the widows of martyred men, the
incident of divorce to Zaynab bint Jahash (rta) by Zayd ibn
Harithah (rta) happened. God made use of this incident for the
correction of two wrong practices in society, so that the work
of prophethood could be completed through the practical
example of the Prophet (sws). One wrong practice was the
status of adopted sons and the other was the marriage of his
widowed or divorced wife with his adopted father. Arabs used
to treat adopted sons as their own and gave the status of a
real daughter in law to the son’s wife. The Qur’an declared
this to be against nature and decided that when no
relationship existed between an adopted son and his wife, and
he divorced her, the adopted father could marry her and there
was nothing wrong with this act. God instructed the Prophet (sws)
to set an example himself to correct this societal issue and
gave him permission to have more than four wives in order to
pave the way for this marriage as well as marry others who
would come to him as maid servants. Additionally, if a woman
was desirous of marrying him and he himself wished to as well,
he could do so.
6. Under this
special exemption, the Prophet (sws) married Zaynab bint
Jahash (rta), and after that, the daughters of the leaders of
the Banu Mustaliq and the Banu Nadir, both of whom had come as
captives during battles. They were first freed and then he
married them. He also married Maymunah bint al-Harith (rta) at
the age of 59. Maymunah (rta) became an important source of
spreading Islamic teachings.
These details
tell us that the entire life of the Prophet (sws) was spent in
purity and piety. He spent the time until he was 50 years old
with one wife, despite the fact that this period is one in
which a man is most sexually active. During this time, he was
blessed with prophethood and his entire attention was focused
on fulfilling the responsibilities of his mission. He was busy
in matters such that worldly activities were of secondary
importance to him. Thus, even when he married, the benefits to
his religion and nation remained a priority.
Responsibilities of the Noble Wives
The special
feature of the lives of rulers and heads of states is that the
entire world is open to them with all its attractions and
opportunities. They take benefit of this as they wish. Their
wives spend a luxurious life, having a multitude of
possessions and a crowd of servants. They are drunk with power
and float on air. However, the situation of prophets and
messengers of God is entirely different. They never give any
consideration to the world and focus their attention upon the
life hereafter. Their life is defined by obedience to
instructions of God and communication of His message to
humans. The same reflection of their lives is necessary in
the lives of their wives. This is the reason why the Qur’an
has elaborated with such detail the responsibilities of the
noble wives of the Prophet (sws). They were told that having
accepted the companionship of the Prophet (sws), they should
understand that:
a) If they desire the luxury,
adornment and comfort of this world, they will not find these
in the Prophet (sws)’s home. They should keep the same
objective in mind which the Prophet (sws) had; ie. success in
the Hereafter. Improving the standards of life is the approach
adopted by world leaders, not of prophets. Therefore, they
must be satisfied with a life of want and difficulties.
b) A messenger is the flag bearer of
God consciousness, purity and high morals. The same grandeur
and dignity needs to be reflected in his wives. In order to be
worthy of his companionship, they must develop a sense of
responsibility. They should stay at home and restrain
themselves from showing off and having a public profile. They
should keep a strict watch over their desires and what they
say so that they neither create any difficulties for the
Prophet (sws) through any action or word, nor demonstrate any
character unworthy of his status and position.
c) The interests of his wives should
be aligned with those of the Prophet (sws). They cannot build
a life of their own away from his. God wants that there should
not fall even a shadow of polytheism, hypocrisy or any moral
weakness over the Prophet (sws)’s home or any of his family
members. This home should be an example in terms of purity and
piety.
d) The Messenger of God (sws) is
himself a teacher who teaches the Qur’an, clarifies its
instructions, opens the doors to its wisdom and purifies the
character and morals of people. The same status is that of his
wives. They should fulfill their responsibilities as teachers.
Thus, they should pray with great attention; pay the zakah and
obey all the instructions and orders from God and the Prophet
(sws). The revelation that is communicated by the Prophet (sws)
to them should be communicated in turn to the women of the
ummah by the Prophet (sws)’s wives. They should give to them
information about various issues and be the source of
providing guidance received from the Prophet (sws).
e) God had made their role as
teachers easy by bestowing upon them the status of the mothers
of the faithful. Every person of faith could contact them in
order to seek solutions to his problems just as a person could
approach his own mother.
The requirement
of this status was that no man would harbor immoral thoughts
while interacting with them and even think of marrying any of
them after the demise of the Prophet (sws). Every Muslim was
to have the same feelings in his heart about the wives of the
Prophet (sws) that an obedient son had about his real mother.
The noble wives
fulfilled the responsibilities given to them by God in an
excellent manner. They resigned themselves completely from
worldly comforts and focused entirely upon success in the
Hereafter. They remained satisfied with whatever was available
to them in the way of survival at home and lived a life of
abstinence. They were always ready to obey the instructions of
religion. Whatever they heard from the Prophet in his personal
life, or anything they observed, they shared it with their
relatives or those who came to them to ask questions. The
efforts which the noble wives made to light up the way of life
are narrated in books of Ahadith and the proof is the massive
number of narratives which the ummah has received through
them.
It had been
clarified to the noble wives that they were to keep the
Prophet (sws) free to meet his religious obligation without
encumbrance. If he was unable to give attention to them they
were not to complain but be satisfied with however much time
he could give them from his free time. Similarly, if the
Prophet (sws) gave preference to some wives over others, they
were not to be grieved because the Prophet (sws) did
everything with a religious objective in mind. The Qur’an had
made it very clear that in case of marital responsibilities,
the Prophet (sws) did not have the same moral and religious
obligations which were imposed upon other husbands.
In this matter,
the Prophet (sws)’s behaviour was such that he never gave any
reason for complaint to any of his wives. He would go every
day to each of their homes and ask about them. Then he would
stay with the wife whose turn it was according to a defined
schedule. He did not change this routine even during the
period of his illness when he was close to death. When
changing homes became difficult due to weakness and severity
of his illness, he spent his last few days with ‘A’ishah (rta)
after permission from other wives. Whenever his own living
conditions improved, he made sure that he shared this with his
wives and gave them necessary provisions, such as grain and
other necessities of life. The noble wives too fulfilled their
obligations throughout their lives and kept the torch of
religious teaching burning for the ummah.
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