In a society envisaged by Islam it is important that an individual give due
regard to the opinion of the parents in various matters; it is even more
important that the parents be extra cautious in this matter since they hold
moral authority over their children. Misuse and abuse of such authority can
produce grave consequences. Parents must give deep consideration to the
inclinations and tendencies of their children in deciding their future in all
important affairs such as selection of spouse and profession. They should
understand that once their children become mentally mature they must not impose
their ideas on them. When an individual develops into a grown up person he
deserves freedom of expression and freedom of action within certain limits. This
actually develops and strengthens his personality. The vivacity of youth and the
vigour of adolescence demand a certain amount of independence, which if
curtailed, only turns a dull child into a dunce and an intelligent one into a
ruffian. Adult children must be handled very tactfully. They must be molded and
convinced, encouraged and exhorted. Parents must realize that an adult child
learns a lot through experience and exposure. The blunders he will commit today
make him wise tomorrow. Parents who forgive and forgo win respect and regard and
those who make it a point to punish the children on every mistake committed make
no positive impression in their minds. Important decisions must always be
discussed with children to breed confidence and conviction in them. A decision
as crucial as marriage is no exception. If parents have a different view from
their son’s or daughter’s, they must handle the situation very carefully.
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